Alone in Cafe Grumpy. The empty page has had a visitation from a ghostly quill

I am dining alone at Cafe Grumpy today.

The empty page has had a visitation from a ghostly quill. When planning the weeks dinners I consult the housemates diaries and their social activities dictate my shopping, spending and time spent over the stove for that week. Today's page was empty in ALL the diaries. In fact, at their request I agreed to cook for their friends.

The ghostly scribble of the quill now informs me that NOBODY is home for dinner tonight. Therefore, I have enough chicken bathing in a Caribbean marinade to feed 12 and only me at home to bloody eat it. I have made the decision to lock the freezer so they can't get their hands on the meals I've cooked and frozen, empty the fridge of all cooked meats and padlock the larder. They will only have access to day old bread, a small lump of cheese and a half tube of BBQ Pringles. Sod it, I'm going to remove the coffee, teabags and juices. They can drink tap water.

I have truly spat my dummy out of the pram.....Rant over.

ps: if anybody fancies coming for dinner tonight, about 11 of you, then let me know.