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Sunday 27 February 2011

Slumped and beaten in Hangover Alley. Precipitated the inevitable consequence of birth.

Good day my friends. After an evening in the company of my beloved 'Crag Rats', an evening of debauchery fuelled by excessive alcohol consumption, I find myself slumped and beaten in Hangover Alley today.

The 'Crag Rats' are a band of my dearest friends.  A bond of friendships that have traversed the high peaks and lowlands of a journey that began over 35 years ago. Why 'Crag Rats'?

Karen and I have both been touched by the fragility of life, the death of our parents. Cancer had precipitated the inevitable consequence of birth. Their final days were spent in comfort and peace in the care and dedication of the nursing staff at the local Hospice. Their palliative care and the comfort the families received was incomparable. The Hospice is a registered charity so what better way to thank them than raising money through a challenge. At my mothers funeral, surrounded by these friends, Karen suggested doing a walk and Si, a keen walker, suggested the Yorkshire 3 Peak Challenge, a gruelling 26.1 mile circuit of the three peaks of Ingleborough, Whernside and Pen-y-ghent  with nearly 5,249 ft of ascent and descent. Karen hit the ground running with the planning and Si used his navigational skills in planning the route and times when we all agreed that it was a great idea. We decided to complete the challenge over two days to give us a full weekend away.

A couple of months later, we found ourselves on the peak of Pen-y-ghent and a final treacherous descent through deep bog to the finish line. A descent that nearly ended in my death, much to the amusement of my watching public. Henceforth, we are always referred to as 'The Crag Rats'.

The pledges realized over £2,037.

Now, accuse me of being  inattentive to a persons physical appearance but last night, after 35 years, I realised that Si has only one eyebrow and he has had this condition since childhood. I was only drawn to this through his new eyebrow piercing. I counted his finger's just in case I missed anything else

Anita is still buying her VW camper van and is progressing with her plans to set up a self-sufficient commune in the South of France

My piggy bank is still holding my dream

Woody is going on holiday AGAIN...'I've only been away twice this year' - IT'S ONLY FEBRUARY WOODY. He also can't comprehend the spiritual need for a life on a narrowboat or Anita's desire to travel Europe in a VW camper van - 'Why not buy a yacht and a American RV motorhome, much more comfortable' - A man of considerable wealth and luxury is our Woody.

Karen celebrated her birthday with copious amounts of Woo Woo's and vodka. Don't think she'll be hitting the treadmill with her new-born giraffe legs today

Julie is sleeping in a tent

Dave is still flitting between the UK and Thailand..Wherever he lays his hat.

Alec and Jayne were late...AGAIN. A couple who groom, Alec more than the naturally beautiful Jayne

Janice fell over 

Anyhows, back under the sodden cardboard and trash in Hangover Alley for me...now where did I throw that half-eaten Kebab. Hunger calls.


Love, peace and don't step on the vagrant under the trash

                                                                 Cluski

Friday 25 February 2011

am realy sry i shudve askD :((' ....some kind of obscenity in an incoherent language. Boiled Bacon recipe

 Lunch at Cafe Grumpy.


Do you think I should invest in a personal fridge freezer with a keypad security lock? The reason I ask is because last night I made boiled bacon, roast potatoes and cauliflower cheese for dinner and today I was looking forward to the leftover bacon for lunch with cheese, mustard, pickled onions and crusty bread. What I got was a boiled bacon lunch without the bacon.

The housemate came bouncing in, muttered some kind of greeting, dumped her bag and keys on the table and marched with purpose into the kitchen. The banging of the cupboard doors, the milk bottles rattling against each other as the fridge door swung open and the muffled sound of things being moved about in the larder indicated that a ravenous forage for food had ensued. The bedlam ceased, proceeded with the sound of heavy footsteps ascending the stairs.

Twenty minutes later, she bounced back into the front room with a change of outfit and a newly painted face. She picked up her bag and keys and muffled some kind of farewell. To be honest with you, as a man of considerable years I find it easier to decipher her 'txtspk' than her incoherent language..LOL.

An empty house = a quiet lunch and the lunch time news. I laid a large plate with a slab of cheddar, a slab of Brie, a dollop of mustard, a handful of silverskin pickled onions, a buttered sliced baguette with a freshly brewed pot of Yorkshire Tea on the side. Where's the cold thick slices of boiled bacon? The ravenous forage...a phone call had to be made.

"Hello"

"Hiya, it's only me" 
 
"What's up?"

"What did you have for lunch when you came home earlier?"

"Nothing, we're having lunch at Olivia's, why?"

"I had some leftover bacon from last nights dinner in the fridge, it's disappeared"

"Oh, the meat that was wrapped in foil?"

"Yea"

"Didn't know you wanted it, so I took it. Sorry, I should have asked"

"Took it?"

"Well, me and the girl's are having lunch at Olivia's, so we decided that everybody bring food but not tell each other what they're bringing and see what we end up with for lunch. Olivia is providing the wine"

I hung up. Five minutes later I received a text message;

'am realy sry i shudve askD :(('

I muffled some kind of obscenity in an incoherent language


If you fancy hot boiled bacon for dinner and, if your lucky enough, the cold leftovers for the following days lunch then here's the recipe.

Boiled Bacon

1.4-1.8kg/3-4lb piece of gammon or hock bacon

Stock
2 bay leaves
3 cloves
5 black peppercorns
2 onions, roughly chopped
3 carrots, roughly chopped
5 sticks celery, roughly chopped

Check the weight of the joint before throwing away the plastic covering. The cooking time will be 25 minutes per 445g/1lb plus 25 minutes. Soak the joint in cold water for a couple of hours to remove any excess salt; alternatively, place it in a large pan, cover with cold water and slowly bring to the boil, then discard the water.
Cover the bacon with fresh cold water and add the rest of the ingredients for the stock. Bring slowly to the boil. Skim the surface when needed and cover with a lid . Calculate the cooking time from this point and reduce to a gentle simmer.

When cooked, remove the joint to keep warm. Sieve the stock into a clean pan, catching all the veg and spices in the sieve. Skim the stock, allow to cool and freeze - it's great for soups and stews.


Love, peace and lock up ya fridge
                                 
                                        Cluski




Thursday 24 February 2011

'Although his death robbed England of her nutmeg, it gave her the biggest apples' - A Book Review

Nathaniel's Nutmeg
How One Man's Courage Changed the Course of History

Giles Milton


I have always been fascinated by the Age of Discovery, a period in history starting in the early 15th century and continuing into the early 17th century during which Europeans engaged in intensive exploration of the world. It is common to think that these long-distance maritime travels  into unmapped waters were undertaken not merely to map the world but to be the first European to set foot on an unchartered continent in an unchartered ocean. In fact, these marine explorations were driven by Europe's profit-hungry merchants who would chance everything in their desperation for alternative trade routes to 'the Indies' moved by the trade of gold, silver and the very much desired and hugely profitable spices. The purpose of Christopher Columbus' initial voyage of 1492 was not discover a new continent but to map a faster trade route to the Indies. He estimated a westward route across the Atlantic, from Iberia to the Indies, would be shorter than the overland trade route through Arabia and this would allow Spain entry into the lucrative spice trade.  He had severely underestimated the circumference of the Earth and, following his plotted course, he landed at a locale he named San Salvador. He believed the lands he encountered to be Asia. History shows us he accidently landed on what was to be seen by the Europeans as the 'new world', America.

In Nathaniel's Nutmeg, Giles Milton deals with the struggle between the East India Company of London and the Dutch East India Company for the control rights of the spice-producing islands of the East Indies throughout the 17th century, especially the smallest and richest of the Banda Islands - the nutmeg-producing island of Run.

In 17th century Europe, nutmeg was a most coveted luxury. It was claimed to have powerful medicinal properties and became as sought after as gold when the physicians of Elizabethan London claimed their nutmeg pomanders were the only certain cure for the plague. The market price became so high that a small sack full could set up a man for life, affording him with all things gentry.

The central character of the story is Nathaniel Courthope (1585-1620), a merchant naval officer, who was hired by the  East India Company of London to go to the Spice Islands on a quest to break the Dutch hold on the nutmeg supply. He left England with great fanfare in April 1610.

What follows is a voyage of deadly illnesses, seiges, battles, torture and executions.

On 23 December 1616 Courthope landed his ships, Swan and Defence, on Run. He persuaded the islanders to enter an alliance with the British for nutmeg much to the great annoyance of the Dutch. Following attacks from the Dutch he fortified the island by erecting forts to overlook approaches from the east. With only 39 men and vastly outnumbered he proceeded to hold off a Dutch seige for 1,540 days.

Courthope arranged a visit to the island of Great Banda, accompanied by his Boy William, he would set sail in a small boat under the cover of darkness. His men were most unhappy about this. Two miles off the Ai's coastline, 50 Dutch soldiers lay in wait. A spy in Courthope's camp had informed the Dutch governor-general in Niera of Courthope's movements and a heavily-armed ambush party was despatched with one simple order - kill the troublesome Englishman.

Courthope was shot and wounded. Rather than surrender, he leapt overboard. It was the last time he was seen alive.

What followed was one of the most incredible deals in world history.

Today, Run is of such insignificance that it fails to even make it onto the map. However, in the 17th century it was the most talked about island in the world. An island of such fabulous wealth. An island of nutmeg. The English were outraged by the murder of Courthope, who they saw as a man who had laid down his life in the defence of Run and now the island was lost to the Dutch. Nathaniel Couthorpe's defiance, heroism and murder would spark an unstoppable train of events that would last for the next forty-seven years.

The Dutch presence in New Netherland began in 1624. New Netherland was a colonial province on the East Coast of North America and the provincial capital, New Amsterdam, was located at the southern tip of the island of Manhattan on upper New York Bay. Little did the settlers realise that its future would be inextricably entwined with the nutmeg-producing island of Run. In 1664, the English conquered New Amsterdam and renamed it 'New York'. This provoked the second Anglo-Dutch War that would last for two years with neither side gaining the upper hand.

In March 1667, with the war dragging on, it was agreed both sides would meet at the Dutch city of Breda to discuss their grievances. On 31 July 1667 they had reached an agreement. One of the most significant documents in history, The Treaty of Breda, was signed.

The result.....The Dutch retained Run and secured a worldwide monopoly on nutmeg, whilst England was given the whole of New Netherland, producing the Colonies of New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Delaware.

All that from the little seed that sits, unassumingly, at the back of your cupboard.

A glorious, historical account of a world full of infinate adventure...a book I have read and re-read ****
                                                                                        Cluski

The book is available from Cluski's Book & Grocery Store at the top of the page priced at £5.02





Wednesday 23 February 2011

Alone in Cafe Grumpy. The empty page has had a visitation from a ghostly quill



I am dining alone at Cafe Grumpy today.

The empty page has had a visitation from a ghostly quill. When planning the weeks dinners I consult the housemates diaries and their social activities dictate my shopping, spending and time spent over the stove for that week. Today's page was empty in ALL the diaries. In fact, at their request I agreed to cook for their friends.

The ghostly scribble of the quill now informs me that NOBODY is home for dinner tonight. Therefore, I have enough chicken bathing in a Caribbean marinade to feed 12 and only me at home to bloody eat it. I have made the decision to lock the freezer so they can't get their hands on the meals I've cooked and frozen, empty the fridge of all cooked meats and padlock the larder. They will only have access to day old bread, a small lump of cheese and a half tube of BBQ Pringles. Sod it, I'm going to remove the coffee, teabags and juices. They can drink tap water.

I have truly spat my dummy out of the pram.....Rant over.

ps: if anybody fancies coming for dinner tonight, about 11 of you, then let me know.

Tuesday 22 February 2011

I will seriously have to call into question the credence of our friendship. Caribbean Chicken Stew

 

'Who should have the pleasure of our company and my money'

Looking at the results so far and reading the comments on this weeks poll, I will seriously have to call into question the credence of our friendship if you persist in casting your votes in such a contemptable manner. One thinks a solitary meal is to be had. I shall pass the credit card to the housemates as they turn left and I turn right. I will sit at a table for two in Nandos in anticipation that Liz will join me for a slab of carrot cake.

Anyhows, got a few extra mouths to feed tomorrow so here is the recipe for Caribbean Chicken Stew that I will be making for dinner. The chicken is now bathing in all the beautiful seasonings and will sit there till tomorrow evening.
 
Many traditional West Indian recipes brown meat in oil and sugar. It gives it a rich, dark colour and lovely flavour. This is very similar to the Jamaican Brown Stew Chicken, but I find the extra seasonings really lifts this version to another level. This dish is definately a keeper and a firm favourite with everyone I've cooked it for. I serve this with either rice and peas or sweet potato mash and ALWAYS have a bottle of West Indian Pepper Sauce at hand.




Caribbean Chicken Stew

1 whole chicken, cut into pieces and skinned (legs,thighs, breast), or just buy a selection of chicken pieces


For seasoning the chicken:

1 teaspoon curry powder

1 teaspoon all purpose seasoning

1 teaspoon dried thyme (could you fresh if you want)

1 teaspoon dried parsley (optional)

1 teaspoon chicken seasoning

1 teaspoon allspice or mixed spice

1 teaspoon paprika

1 pinch of nutmeg

salt and coarse black pepper to season

juice of 1 lemon

2 teasoons soy sauce

3 cloves garlic, finely chopped

1 large onion, diced

1 small piece of ginger, peeled and finely chopped

1 red pepper, cut into small pieces 

For the stew:

2 teaspoons oil

2 teaspoons sugar

2 to 3 tomatoes, cut into small pieces

1 to 2 teaspoons tomato puree

800ml to 1 litre of water

1 piece of coconut creme block (approx 1/6 of the whole block)

1 stock cube (I prefer oxo or bovril cube)

1 Scotch bonnet chilli



First, pierce the meat so that the seasoning can penetrate the meat.
 


Season the chicken with the ingredients mentioned in a bowl and leave overnight in the fridge.
 

.

Gently heat about 2 teaspoons of oil and add 2 teaspoons of sugar for about 5-7 minutes. Keep an eye on the mixture as it can burn easily, but don't stir it. When it turns a mid-golden brown colour, then the sugar has caramelised. Stand well back and quickly tip the chicken only into the pan (do not add the seasoning from the bowl) then cover with a lid and don't touch it for 5 minutes. Turn the chicken pieces over, cover again and cook for a further 5 minutes until it's a lovely rich golden brown colour. 
 


Now add the seasoning from the bowl and cook for a further 3 minutes.
 


Add the tomatoes and tomato puree and cook for about 3-5 minutes until the tomatoes soften.
 


Add water, coconut block, stock cube and whole Scotch bonnet chilli.
 


Bring to the boil and then simmer on low to medium heat for approximately 1 hour. The sauce should not be as thick as a curry and not too watery, so if it looks too watery turn the heat up slightly after about 45 minutes and let the sauce reduce

Remove Scotch bonnet chilli
 


Keep tasting the stew and adjust seasoning with salt and black pepper if needed.


Enjoy.......Love and peace people

                                         Cluski

Monday 21 February 2011

Little pots of horrors. I know it's her birthday but I'm paying..do the right thing my friends

Good day people. The 'Pot Noodle' poll is now closed and I was surprised it got any votes. Clearly, there are people out there who consume these little pots of horrors....

 Beef & Tomato             45%
 Original Curry               19%
                       Chicken & Mushroom    9%
                       Sweet & Spicy               9%
                       Bombay Bad Boy           9%
                       Donner Kebab                9%

Sweet & Sour, Chinese Chow Mein, Southern Fried Chicken, Chicken Satay, Tikka Masala and Sticky Rib polled no votes.

This weeks poll is to settle an ongoing disagreement between a fellow housemate and myself. It is her birthday this week and we are all going out for a meal on Friday. The disagreement is where to eat. Ok, I know it's her birthday but I'm paying, so whilst she wants to go to Frankie & Bennys, I want to go to Nandos. There's no point in asking the other housemates because a trip to Greggs and a Steak Bake pasty will suffice for them.

So, the choice of dining is in your hands my friends. We have agreed to include all the restaurants that are in the neighbourhood and the winning restaurant will have the pleasure of our company and MY MONEY.

Make the right decision, my friends......you know what you need to do.

Love, peace and freedom

Saturday 19 February 2011

Oklahoma Cafe & Gift Shop - A Review

In the Northern Quarter, a few minutes walk from Shudehill tram station, stands a large red brick building. Half Corinthian columns and elaborate capitals decorated with acanthus leaves and scrolls support large arched windows, illuminated in a warm inviting and comforting hue against the backdrop of the usual cold and greyness of the Manchester climate.

Push open the tall wooden doors and enter an Aladdin's Cave of the weird, the wonderful and the kitsch.

Welcome to the Oklahoma Cafe and Gift Shop.
 


To explain the wonders, the nonpareil of the randomness of the gift shop? You need to indulge in reminiscence for a moment and take yourself back to childhood. If you regressed enough to the late 70's/mid 80's do you remember all those 'pocket money' toys, trinkets and sweets you bought? Well, many of them are to be found along the winding aisles of the gift shop, sitting amongst ceramics, textiles, humorous greeting cards, postcards, handmade stationary, jewellery and much more.


Follow the wall of art house/cult DVD rentals and you will find yourself in the cafe. There is no correlation between the furniture and the breakfast bar is very 1950s-esque, enhanced with ornate parasols. The patronage of the cafe is an eclectic gathering. Very Boho-chic. The menu is 99% vegetarian/vegan (I did spot a chorizo salami, parsley and mozzarella toastie), organic and Fair trade.



My recommendations for lunch or just a comforting drink? Well, if you want a change from the usual coffee and breakfast tea, I give you:

A hot London Fog.....earl grey tea, frothy milk & vanilla syrup @ £2.00
or a refreshing Moroccan mint tea @ £1.60/£1.80
or a detoxing Festival Smoothie....mango, pineapple, honey & lime with coconut milk @ £3.00/£3.70

For a light lunch...the Chorizo Salami, Parsley and Mozzarella Toastie @ £3.20
or skip the savoury and hit the Chocolate Orange Cheesecake @ £2.00 a slab

So, my friends, why am I habitué of Oklahoma? It is a place to relax. A place to find a bit of solace when you're all 'shopped out', a place to peruse the daily newspapers, a place to watch the world go by, a place to lose an hour. I can eat.

Many people who I have introduced to the Oklahoma never leave empty handed or disappointed. If you want a change from the usual high street chains when you're looking for a spot of lunch or a relaxing beverage, then go independent, go down to the Oklahoma.

74-76 High Street,
Manchester,
M4 1ES
(0161) 834 1136

Link: viewmanchester.co.uk


Love, peace and freedom people



Thursday 17 February 2011

A narrowboat, a cat , some chickens and a potters wheel. Best ever Tuna Melt

Good day people. After a momentous and savage battle against influenza, I am now back to full health (well, as healthy as a middle-aged, nicotine and alcohol consumer can expect to be) and that means back to work. It has took many years of employment to conclude that its not really for me. I want to buy and live on a narrowboat, with my cat........ and some chickens....and my potters wheel. 

Long hot summer days meandering the waterways at a leisurely 3mph, foraging the local woods and hedgerows for their surplus of wild foods; fungi, Spring shoots, Summer flowers, Autumn berries, The countryside will be an extension to my larder. The fruit will be made into jams and the Sloe berries will be submerged in gin to work their magic. Sitting on the deck with a book and a glass of wine, surrounded by the huge communal garden reflecting in the stillness of the water, I would display my merchandise; freshly laid eggs, homemade jams and chutneys, bottles of homemade Sloe Gin, and exclusive handmade pottery for the passing traffic along the tow path to peruse and purchase. I wouldn't earn much, but I wouldn't be spending much either.

In my rural isolation, the dawn chorus will gently rouse me from deep sleep. The chopped wood will be glowing red in the stove as the kettle comes to the boil and the gathered breakfast eggs gently fry away as butter melts over hot toast. On cold, wet winter evenings my cat and I will slouch in slumber by the fireside as Mother Nature orchestrates the pleasing and harmonious music of wind and rainfall. My innately lazy self would be very much at home in this enviroment.

£12.95 savings sit in my piggy bank eagerly awaiting the company of more coinage...£87,487.05 to be precise...to finance my dream, so until it is realised I will continue to be provoked, like an irritable, tranquilized bear, at stupid o'clock by a bloody annoying, obstreperous electronic alarm clock...6 days a bloody week. I will continue to offer my labor to an ungrateful employer in exchange for a small recompense. I will continue to walk these overcrowded and noisy streets of concrete and grey. 

All donations kindly accepted and made payable to..........

Anyhows, just the wierd little Xbox kid and myself at home for dinner tonight, so I will be making a quick, easy and delicious tuna melt and serving it with a dressed green salad. This is a lovely, fresh dish. Give it a go.

Best Ever Tuna Melt

2 cans tuna in spring water, drained
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup finely chopped celery
1 1/2 tablespoons finely chopped onion
1 tablespoon chopped parsley
3/4 teaspoon red wine vinegar
1 pinch salt
1 pinch freshly ground black pepper
4 slices seedless rye or bloomer bread
8 slices ripe tomato
8-10 slices Monterrey Jack or Swiss cheese
paprika, for garnish

Preheat the grill. 

In a bowl, mix the tuna, mayonnaise, celery, onion, parsley, and vinegar. Season with salt and pepper.

Place the rye bread slices on a baking sheet, and grill for 1 minute, until lightly toasted. Remove from heat, and spread with the tuna salad. Place 1 cheese slice over the tuna salad on each piece of bread, layer with 2 tomato slices, and top with another cheese slice, cut in half to sit on both tomato slices, if necessary.

Return layered bread to the grill, and grill for 3 to 5 minutes, until cheese is melted.

Tuesday 15 February 2011

A beautiful corn fed chicken. A slow cooked Jambalaya

Good afternoon my friends. Tonight and tomorrows dinner is a chicken feast. Just got back from Shepherds Butchers with a beautiful corn fed chicken. Howard kindly cut it into 8 pieces and removed the skin (saved me a job). Within 20 minutes it will be happily marinating in a big bowl of  chopped onion, red pepper, celery, garlic, ginger, lemon juice, soy sauce, curry powder, all-purpose seasoning, dried thyme, chicken seasoning, allspice, paprika, freshly grated nutmeg, sea salt and coarsely ground black pepper.

She will bathe in this aromatic marinade overnight before being browned in oil and sugar and put in a stew pot with the marinade, diced tomatoes, tomato puree, water, coconut creme, a stock cube and a whole Scotch bonnet chilli and left to simmer for a couple of hours. Will probably serve this mouth watering Caribbean Chicken Stew with sweet potato mash. That's tomorrows dinner sorted.

Tonights dinner is Jambalaya and is simmering away in the slow cooker. It will gently bubble away for 7 hours and all I've got to do is steam some rice when ready to serve.


Slow Cooked Jambalaya


450g skinless, boneless chicken breast fillets or chicken thighs, cut into 2.5cm chunks 
450g smoked pork sausage
2(400g) tin chopped tomatoes, one with the juice, one drained of the juice
1 large onion, chopped
1 large green pepper, chopped
125g celery, chopped 
250ml chicken stock
2 teaspoon dried oregano 
2 teaspoon dried parsley 
2 teaspoon Cajun seasoning 
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme 
450g frozen cooked and peeled prawns (optional)

In a slow cooker, mix together the chicken, sausage, tomatoes, onion, green pepper, celery and stock. Season with oregano, parsley, Cajun seasoning, cayenne pepper and thyme. 

Cover and cook for 7 to 8 hours on Low for 3 to 4 hours on High. Stir in the prawns, if using, during the last 30 minutes of cook time. 

Serves 6  


Have a good day people


Love, peace and freedom



























 


Sunday 13 February 2011

'What is your favourite left-over take-away hangover breakfast' poll results. This weeks poll 'What is your favourite Pot Noodle flavour'

Good day people. My apologies that there wasn't a poll last week but here is the results for the previous weeks  'What is your favourite left-over take-away hangover breakfast' poll and may I add that you have redeemed yourselves following the shocking 'The Sausage Sandwich v The Bacon Sandwich Condiment' results.

Cold Curry                  38%
Reheated Curry           15%
Reheated Chinese        15%
Cold Kebab                    8%
Cold Pizza                      8%
Reheated Kebab             4%
Reheated Pizza               4%
Reheated Garlic Bread    4%
Any Chicken Portions      4%
Cold Garlic Bread            0%
Cold Chinese                   0%

This weeks poll was submitted by Anonymous and I am very grateful for his/her participation and comments, but I wont be voting on this one because I would rather staple my bottom lip to my forehead than consume ......... a POT NOODLE.


So, my friends, Anonymous asks; 'What is your favourite Pot Noodle flavour'



Saturday 12 February 2011

Derby Day Blues. Pico de Gallo Chicken Quesadillas and Reggae Reggae Nachos

Good morning people and a happy weekend to you all. Today is the big derby game and I would usually be found in The Peel watching the big screen as Manchester City make Manchester United look like a Sunday pub team (hope, I don't come to regret that remark) and, purely out of gentlemanly conduct, I would offer my deepest condolences to the despondent United fans, of which will make up 95% of the audience. But, as you are all aware, I've been fighting against a very very, yes VERY, serious influenza strain all week. I'm happy to announce the battle seems to be swaying in favour of my last surviving brave little cells.

Alas, I'm still housebound and don't want to harm my surviving little cells by soaking them in alcohol. They need their strength to finish the fight. The housemates have made the decision to join me for the game. They say it doesn't feel right that they will be out having a beer and jolly up with our friends, watching the game, whilst I'll be sat here with just the cat for companionship. So, they have cancelled their plans and have decided to keep me company, at least for the duration of the event.. They have also invited a couple of friends round. I'm very touched by their thoughtfulness and altruism. Its got nothing to do with my offer to provide food and beer.

Pico de Gallo Chicken Quesadillas 

In Mexican cuisine,Pico de Gallo is also called salsa fresco and is a refreshing condiment that will go with a lot of dishes; chili, curry, grilled meat, just about everything. You could even fold it into scramble eggs for a 'Huevos a la Mexicana', just make sure you leave out the lime juice if you try this. The following recipe can be adapted to your own taste. Add more of an ingredient you like or less of an ingredient your not as keen. You coud also add a peeled, deseeded and diced cucumber, if you wish. Feel free my friends.


For the Pico de Gallo
6 plum tomatoes, deseeded and diced
1 large onion, diced
small handful chopped fresh coriander
2 tbsp jalapeno pepper, seeded and finely chopped (you can use the jalapeno's out of a jar)
1 clove garlic, very finely chopped
1/2 tsp garlic powder
2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp black pepper
1 pinch ground cumin (optional)
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp white wine or cider vinegar

Place all the ingredients in a big bowl and stir well. Clingfilm and refigerate for at least 6 hours or overnight. How easy is that?

For the chicken filling 
1 tbsp olive oil
3 skinless, boneless chicken breasts
1 onion, thinly sliced
1 green bell pepper, thinly sliced
3 cloves garlic, finely chopped
6 (12 inch) flour tortillas
350g/12oz of grated cheddar or my preference, grated Monterey Jack cheese (add more if you like)
Put in enough cold water to cover the chicken, add the salt.
Bring the mixture to a simmer, cook for 5 minutes.
Turn off the heat and cover tightly.
Let the chicken sit in the hot water for 10 minutes.


To cook the chicken for this dish I always 'steep' the breasts. This is a very easy way to cook the chicken that will give a lovely moist and tender result.


Put the chicken in a saucepan and add enough cold water to cover, add a good pinch of salt. Bring the water to the boil, then turn down to a simmer. Simmer for 5 minutes, no longer. Turn off the heat and cover tightly. Let the chicken sit in the hot water for 15 minutes. Remove the chicken and cut one in half to make sure its cooked through. Any sign of pink, place back in the hot water and replace the lid. I have never had to do this because it has always been cooked through, but it is better to be on the safe side and check. Slice into strips.


Meanwhile, heat the oil in a frying pan on a medium heat and saute the sliced onion and green pepper until tender , about 15 minutes. You are looking to sweat the onion and pepper so don't have the heat too high or you will end up frying them. Stir in the minced garlic and saute for a couple of minutes. Mix in half of the pico de gallo and sliced chicken breast meat. Set aside; keep warm.


Heat a frying pan, large enough to fit the tortilla, on a medium heat. Heat one flour tortilla. Spread  a  small handful of cheese on the tortilla and top with 1/3 the chicken mixture. Sprinkle another small handfull cup cheese over the chicken and top with another tortilla. When bottom tortilla is lightly brown and cheese has started to melt, flip quesadilla and cook on the opposite side. Remove quesadilla from the pan and cut into quarters. Repeat with remaining ingredients. You will end up with 3 whole quesadillas cut into 12 quarters. If you want to make more then just increase the ingredients accordingly. Serve quesadillas with the sour cream,  guacamole and remaining pico de gallo.



 REGGAE REGGAE NACHOS


2 tbsp olive oil
1 red onion, diced
1/2 Scotch bonnet chilli, deseeded and finely chopped
400g chopped tomatoes
1/2 x 295g bottle Levi Roots Love Apple Tomato sauce
1/2 tsp ground allspice
2 x 200g bags tortilla chips
200g jar sliced jalapeno chillies
2 x 125 balls mozzarella, torn
small handful coriander, chopped


Heat oven to 220C/200C fan/gas 7. Heat the oil in a frying pan, then soften the onion and chilli for about 10 mins. Stir in the tomatoes, tomato sauce and allspice. Bubble for 1 min, then remove from the heat.

Take a large ovenproof dish or plate and pile on the tortilla chips. Cover with the tomato sauce, then sprinkle with the sliced jalapeños and mozzarella.

Place in oven for about 15 mins until cheese is melted. Scatter with coriander.

I like to serve guacamole and soured cream on the side.

Friday 11 February 2011

The trail to the paddy field. The second 'Dregs Session' recipe

Whilst I'm missing the 'Dregs Sessions' due to illness (did I mention I'm not well?) and confined to my sick bed, I would like to relate another of Justine's food calamities and the second 'Dreg Session' recipe.

If you read the 'Justine's 10 Second Kebab Dilemma' post you will have a slight indication of her notorious hedonism. After a good day/night out, filling her boot's with copious amounts of alcohol, she always demands a bounteous platter of food. Unfortunately, the simple transportation from platter to mouth to stomach continous to be an inconceivable mode of conveyance to her.

She arrived home late on a Friday evening, carried by her unstable newborn giraffe legs that had now gained enough practical navigational skills to allow the eyes to become fully redundant. This was a vital skill to learn because one eye was always asleep and the other only had 10% vision. She was ravenous. Opening the fridge door her 10% vision spotted a portion of chili, sitting in a silver tray. She remembered making a big pot earlier in the week and saving this portion for the weekend. She smiled, a broad expectant smile. Result. Now what to have with it?

Justine roused, slowly and carefully, to find the heavy duvet had cocooned it's patient. She found her way out and noticed a large white bowl on the floor. There were no remnants of any food, the bowl was completely clean but she knew she had eaten. She recollected warming the chili but could not remember eating it, never mind licking the inside of the bowl clean. She then noticed the dog.

He was sat on the end of the bed. Across the full length of his elongated face his long hair was matted with rice and chili bits. He couldn't look more guilty if he was crouched in the corner draped in a poncho, topped with a sombrero and pulling on a chewed cigar.  She looked over the edge of the bed again at the floor and saw the rice.

"Oh dear, what have I done now?"

She rose and carefully planted her feet on the floor, avoiding standing on the trail of cooked rice that led from the bowl to the open door. Following the trail she reached the landing.

"Oh my God"
 
The trail led across the landing, and down the stairs. Now my friends, we are not talking about a few grains of rice here, we are talking a huge amount of spillage. Carefully descending the stairs, legs agape either side of  the trail, she follows as it winds it's way into the kitchen.

"Holy shit"

I wish she had taken a photograph of what confronted her that morning.  Every receptacle was sitting on the worktops, cooker and table, overflowing with cooked rice. Every pan, bowl, cup, glass, Tupperware box, plant pot was utilised.  She looked at the floor. She beheld a paddy field.

"Oh bollocks"

We all know how deceiving a portion size of uncooked rice can be once cooked. Water absorption causes volume expansion, so a handful of uncooked rice now becomes 2, maybe 3 handfuls when cooked. I am sure this will sound familiar, as we have all had plenty of leftovers. So my friends, if you arrive home after a day/night of hedonism and feel like some rice with your leftover chili or curry, please remember the following advice;

DO NOT reach for your restaurant sized stockpot (Justine has one), fill it with water and pour in a 5kg bag of rice.

DO NOT reach for any sized stockpots or pans, for that matter.

DO have a stock of Uncle Ben's Micro Rice sitting in your larder.

DO NOT purchase boil-in-the-bag rice. They are an accident waiting to happen.

DO make sure you have a microwave before purchasing the Uncle Ben's.


Dougie is a well established patron and the joker of the 'Dregs Session'. A well built Maltese man who enjoys the whole spectrum of worlds cuisines and, apparently, he makes a cracking biryani. So this recipe he gave me as one of his favourite comfort foods did somewhat surprise me. It shouldn't have done really, because anything that is said, confessed or done during the 'Dregs Session' should NEVER take me or anyone by surprise. Therefore, I am happy to share with you, my friends, the second 'Dregs Session' recipe and one to give 'Emu's Pie Fondue' a run for it's money.


DOUGIE'S FRAY BENTOS 'CLASSIC' STEAK & KIDNEY PUDDING WITH TOMATO SOUP

 You will need the following; 
 a microwave, a tin opener, a sauce pan, a large bowl and a spoon.

1 Fray Bentos 'Classic' Steak & Kidney Pudding
1 can of Hienz Tomato Soup, no other brand is acceptable

Microwave the Steak & Kidney Pudding, as instructed. Meanwhile, open the can of soup and pour into a saucepan. Heat gently till warmed through. Once the microwave pings, carefully remove the Steak & Kidney Pudding. Take it out of the tin and place straight into the large bowl. Finally, pour over the hot Tomato Soup.

.....................................................Enjoy


Love, peace and freedom people

                                       Cluski




Thursday 10 February 2011

Me, Gloria and Mary sat on a roof eating cottage pie

Gloria
I'm still here and it's stupid o'clock. My third day confined to my sick bed and after a night of high fever inducing delirious dreams with an angel at my head and the devil at my feet I feel like Ebenezer Scrooge as he awoke on Christmas morning, relieved that he made it through the night. I realise I'm really missing my food. Sometime during the night, between being pursued through Narnia by the armies of the White Witch and finding myself in a hall of mirrors with the mad guy from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre,  I was sat in the company of Gloria Swanson and Mary Pickford. We were tucking into a cottage pie, red cabbage, pickled onions and crusty bread on the roof of The Merril Department Store...Don't ask, I have absolutely no idea.

Mary
Anyhows, I've cooked a lot of cottage pies, varying the ingredients and quantities looking for a perfect balance of taste and texture. I think I've found it with this version. It has become the housemate's favourite comfort dish. There is enough here to feed 8-10 people, but I alway's make two dishes..one for dinner, one to freeze. Give it a go, I'm confident it will become one of your 'keepers'





 COTTAGE PIE

3 tbsp olive oil
1kg/2lb lean beef mince
2 onions, finely chopped
3 carrots, chopped
3 celery sticks, chopped
2 garlic cloves, finely chopped
3 tbsp plain flour
1 tbsp tomato puree
850ml/1 1/2 pints beef stock (I use Bovril stock cubes for their deep meaty flavour)
a dash of gravy browning, about a 1/4 tsp
4 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
few thyme sprigs
2 bay leaves


FOR THE MASH
2.2kg/5lb Maris Piper potatoes, peeled and chopped
1 cauliflower, broken into florets (optional)
225ml/8fl oz milk
25g/1oz butter
200g/7oz strong cheddar cheese, grated (more if you want)
freshly grated nutmeg


Heat 1 tbsp oil in a large saucepan and fry the mince until browned - you may need to do this in batches. Set aside in a colander to drain any fat as it browns. Put the rest of the oil into the pan, add the vegetables and cook on a gentle heat until soft, about 20 mins. Add the garlic, flour and tomato purée, increase the heat and cook for a few mins, then return the beef to the pan. Add the stock, gravy browning,Worcestershire sauce and herbs. Bring to a simmer and cook, uncovered, for 45 mins. By this time the gravy should be thick and coating the meat. Check after about 30 mins - if a lot of liquid remains, increase the heat slightly to reduce the gravy a little. Taste and season well but go careful on the salt as the Bovril stock is quite salty, then discard the bay leaves and thyme stalks.

Meanwhile, make the mash.  Either steam the potatoes (my preference) or place the potatoes in a large saucepan in salted cold water, bring to the boil and simmer until tender. Drain well, then allow to steam-dry for a few mins. Mash well with the milk, butter, and three-quarters of the cheese, then season with the nutmeg and some salt and pepper.

TIP: I like to add extra veg, so I usually steam a whole cauliflower, broken into florets, and add them to the potatoes before mashing together.

Spoon meat into 2 ovenproof dishes. To stop the mash sinking into the filling, allow the meat to cool before topping with the mashed potato. Spoon on the mash to cover. Sprinkle on the remaining cheese. If eating straight away, heat oven to 220C/200C fan/gas 7 and cook for 25-30 mins, or until the topping is golden. Or follow the steps (below) to freeze.

Freezing
Make sure the pie is completely cold, then cover it well with cling film and freeze. Always freeze the pie on the day that you make it. Defrost in the fridge overnight, then cook as per the recipe. Alternatively, to cook from frozen, heat oven to 180C/160C fan/gas 4, cover with foil and cook for 1½ hrs. Increase oven to 220C/200C fan/gas 7, uncover and cook for 20 mins more, until golden and bubbling.

Wednesday 9 February 2011

I survived the first 24. 100 trillion murdered cells.

Well my friends, I survived the first 24 but the battle with the pesky RNA viruses goes on.  In a state of murderous frenzy they continue their merciless onslaught on the 100 trillion cells, the functional units that give me life. I feel I've got about 300 left.  The consumption will soon draw the last breath, but before delirium joins me under the duvet and I still have the capacity to 'hear' your critical thoughts,  please allow me to retort;


No, I am not exaggerating

No, it's not a cold. It's influenza

YES, I AM A MAN

The housemates have been informed that the kitchen is officialy closed today. A rubbish bag full of take-away boxes and trays will greet the masses as they gather to lament my death, of that I have no doubt.

Will have to leave a note for them to take the bag to the outside bin. With all the burning candles and shrines that the masses will bring to the vigil,  it could be a fire hazard.

Love, peace and farewell

                       Cluski

Tuesday 8 February 2011

Feeling very indisposed today. A hot restorative bowl of Jewish Penicillin.

Morning people. I will omit the usual prefix because this morning is not 'good'. I am feeling very indisposed today. Overnight the little 'tickle' in my throat has turned into a full blown scratching and inflamation of my pharynx. My head is banging and my bones are heavy and throbbing. It's 05:45 and I think a duvet day on the couch and an easy restorative dinner is about as much as my frail, sickly body can manage. Oooh, the pain.

The planned roast dinner is definately off, so I will be preparing a simple Roast Chicken and Garlic Soup, also known as Jewish Penicillin.

Anyhows, hope you all have a good day and please don't be worrying about me. I will keep you updated with my advancement on the oncoming battle for survival  :(



Roast Chicken and Garlic Soup

garlic 4 large whole bulbs plus 3 cloves sliced
olive oil 1-2 tbsp
cooked chicken giving approx 300g
spring onions 1 bunch, chopped
chicken stock powder or cubes made up, or fresh, 1 litre

Heat the oven to 200c/fan 180C/gas 6.  Put the whole garlic bulbs on a baking sheet and drizzle with a little oil.  Roast for 35 minutes or until soft and squishy when you press them.  Leave to cool.  Squeeze the garlic from each clove into a bowl.

Take all the meat off the chicken and roughly shred it.  Discard the skin and bones.

Put 1 tbsp oil in a saucepan and fry the garlic slices until golden.  Remove and set aside.  Add the spring onions to the pan and fry over a medium heat.  After a minute or so, add the squeezed roasted garlic and fry for 1-2 minutes.

Add the stock and bring to the boil, then reduce the heat, cover and simmer for about 10 minutes.
Ladle the soup into a blender and whizz until smooth.
        
Pour into a saucepan, add the shredded chicken and warm through.  Season to taste.
Serve and scatter the fried garlic slices over the top.  Serves 4


Love, peace and freedom people

                                      Cluski