am realy sry i shudve askD :((' ....some kind of obscenity in an incoherent language. Boiled Bacon recipe

 Lunch at Cafe Grumpy.

Do you think I should invest in a personal fridge freezer with a keypad security lock? The reason I ask is because last night I made boiled bacon, roast potatoes and cauliflower cheese for dinner and today I was looking forward to the leftover bacon for lunch with cheese, mustard, pickled onions and crusty bread. What I got was a boiled bacon lunch without the bacon.

The housemate came bouncing in, muttered some kind of greeting, dumped her bag and keys on the table and marched with purpose into the kitchen. The banging of the cupboard doors, the milk bottles rattling against each other as the fridge door swung open and the muffled sound of things being moved about in the larder indicated that a ravenous forage for food had ensued. The bedlam ceased, proceeded with the sound of heavy footsteps ascending the stairs.

Twenty minutes later, she bounced back into the front room with a change of outfit and a newly painted face. She picked up her bag and keys and muffled some kind of farewell. To be honest with you, as a man of considerable years I find it easier to decipher her 'txtspk' than her incoherent language..LOL.

An empty house = a quiet lunch and the lunch time news. I laid a large plate with a slab of cheddar, a slab of Brie, a dollop of mustard, a handful of silverskin pickled onions, a buttered sliced baguette with a freshly brewed pot of Yorkshire Tea on the side. Where's the cold thick slices of boiled bacon? The ravenous forage...a phone call had to be made.

"Hello"

"Hiya, it's only me" 
 
"What's up?"

"What did you have for lunch when you came home earlier?"

"Nothing, we're having lunch at Olivia's, why?"

"I had some leftover bacon from last nights dinner in the fridge, it's disappeared"

"Oh, the meat that was wrapped in foil?"

"Yea"

"Didn't know you wanted it, so I took it. Sorry, I should have asked"

"Took it?"

"Well, me and the girl's are having lunch at Olivia's, so we decided that everybody bring food but not tell each other what they're bringing and see what we end up with for lunch. Olivia is providing the wine"

I hung up. Five minutes later I received a text message;

'am realy sry i shudve askD :(('

I muffled some kind of obscenity in an incoherent language

If you fancy hot boiled bacon for dinner and, if your lucky enough, the cold leftovers for the following days lunch then here's the recipe.

Boiled Bacon

1.4-1.8kg/3-4lb piece of gammon or hock bacon

Stock

2 bay leaves

3 cloves

5 black peppercorns

2 onions, roughly chopped

3 carrots, roughly chopped

5 sticks celery, roughly chopped

Check the weight of the joint before throwing away the plastic covering. The cooking time will be 25 minutes per 445g/1lb plus 25 minutes. Soak the joint in cold water for a couple of hours to remove any excess salt; alternatively, place it in a large pan, cover with cold water and slowly bring to the boil, then discard the water.

Cover the bacon with fresh cold water and add the rest of the ingredients for the stock. Bring slowly to the boil. Skim the surface when needed and cover with a lid . Calculate the cooking time from this point and reduce to a gentle simmer.

When cooked, remove the joint to keep warm. Sieve the stock into a clean pan, catching all the veg and spices in the sieve. Skim the stock, allow to cool and freeze - it's great for soups and stews.

Love, peace and lock up ya fridge

                                 
                                        Cluski