What the hell is a 'red day' and a 'green day'?, Wierd little Xbox kid

What the hell is a 'red day' and a 'green day'? One of the female housemates has decided to diet, only she knows why, and her daily consumption and portion size of food types are dictated by what 'colour' day it is. So, last night the fellow housemates and I tucked into a bowl of creamy buttermilk mashed potato and an oven tray of thickly sliced beef brisket, swimming in a Texas gravy of onions, cider vinegar, soy sauce, hickory liquid smoke, Worcestershire sauce, HP steak sauce and a couple of tablespoons of strong black coffee, slow cooked in a low oven for 4 hours. She had 2 Quorn bacon style rashers (a strange pink colour and looking like a pair of child's shoe insole), 2 Quorn burgers (Devoid of any moisture and smelling like dog food), topped with a poached egg and a side of three cherry tomatoes.

I sat opposite and, as she scanned the steaming bowl of mash and sizzling meat tray, I observed her eyes become more glazed and 'glassy'. We tucked in and there was melancholy in the way she ran her fork around the edge of her plate. She had not blinked for 5 minutes. One blink would bring the downfall of the watery glaze that would track it's way down her cheeks and land on the Quorn burger's. Might have been a good idea. She sought sanctuary in the front room, eating her 'dinner' off her lap in front of the TV. We all carried on devouring the buttermilk mash and brisket.

I didn't have the balls to ask her to wash-up.

Anyhow's, tonight there's only the weird little Xbox kid and myself at home for dinner, so a take-away is on the cards. The weird little Xbox kid 'lives' in the last room along a narrow corridor were the illumination of the landing light faintly kisses the back wall. The weird little Xbox kid is the youngest housemate and the only time we have social interaction with him is when he wants to watch Primeval, Doctor Who or Merlin on the big screen. I say social interaction but to be honest there is exiguous evidence of our physical presence as he stuffs his face with peperami sticks and washes them down with Capri-Sun, in silence, eyes glued to the TV.

As it is always served, tonights dinner will be placed on the floor outside his dooor, followed by an emphatic knock to rise above the sound of crackling gunfire and the screams of humans having their throats ripped out and inners consumed by blood thirsty zombies (a good game, I believe). There will be silence as the game is paused and it listen's, attentively, for the retreating footsteps. If you quietly step into the shadows on the landing you will hear the creaking of the hinges as it slowly opens the door. The long, pale arm of Nosferatu will grip the dinner plate and pull it through the small gap, banging the door shut before the bloodcurdling screams of the near decapitated and ripped apart victims recommence.

One day, I'm gonna sneak in and open his curtains and allow it's room be basked in glorious sunlight. That will synthesize it's Vitamin D and cure it's delayed sleep phase disorder. Weird little Xbox kid.

Finally, the female housemate who rooms next door to the weird little Xbox kid will be leaving for University this coming September, so if any of you are looking for lodgings, apply within....be it at your own peril.

Link; Hickory Liquid Smoke from Amazon.co.uk (in sterling)